How to Cope with Election Trauma & Grief

We experience traumatic events together, and this [election] result definitely brought fears and hurt and memories of what was previously, and concerns about it only being worse. Collective grief is understandable when you feel as though you put your all into something and you see an outcome that is incredibly scary for you.- Raquel Martin, clinical psychologist in Rolling Stone article.

If you're experiencing the political grief described in the quote above, know that you're not alone. I am just one example, but I'm right there with you.
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Identifying Political Grief

I read an article recently describing political grief and it made me feel seen and heard to have them describe it so precisely. Here are what most of us who are grieving experience...
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(1) Struggling with feelings of anger or sadness about the ideology of those who are now in power.

(2) Coping with the conflict you're experiencing in important relationships as you grieve and they celebrate, especially if they don't understand the fear you might be feeling and the vulnerability you now face.
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At the heart of political grief is a sense of despair due to the loss of predictability and safety in governmental structures. There’s also “a sense of paralysis” that occurs when you question whether those in power are capable of making decisions for the good of the country during a time of such political polarization. - Darcy Harris, PhD, a professor at King’s University College in Ontario specializing in non-death loss and grief.

You also may feel sure that you or those you love won't be safe. This is political grief, too.
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It’s not only the loss of the candidate you voted for, but also the dread of what’s to come. Grief and fear are two very strong emotions to have at once. - Dion Metzger, M.D., psychiatrist 

You may not recognize that much of what you are experiencing comes from sadness. Metzger identified feelings of hopelessness, difficulty sleeping and exhaustion, or being low in energy, as all falling under that umbrella.
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What to Do Now

(1) Give yourself plenty of time to grieve. In fact, we are heading into what is likely to be another dark time in this country's history and we do not know how long it will last.

So don't think in terms of "when I should be over this." Focus, instead, on coping with the grief and the uncertainty.

(2) Find ways to take back your power. My therapist recommended focusing on myself, my life, my family, friends and community, and all the choices I still get to make.

My response to that is to think through how I want my life to feel, and how to get there, in spite of grief. What I want my home to feel like - a safe place, a place where love and laughter happen, etc.

(3) Focus on comfort and cozy self-care. Slow life down, so you have plenty of time to process feelings, to shift into feeling grounded, or return to center, and to prioritize good feelings, like joy and delight.

This would be a great time to begin a meditation practice, and to perfect the ability to pause for deep breathing or grounding exercises whenever you need it. Keep reading - I've got a guided meditation that may help you feel more grounded.

(4) Avoid doomscrolling and overexposure to the media. I know it's important to stay informed, but a deep dive into the doom and gloom will only make things worse. Ask me how I know.

Make sure you counter time spent on political news with plenty of time doing what lights you up and connecting with those who love you. 

(5) Healers & lightworkers, in addition to all of the above, stay connected to your higher self and to the divine. We need to be plugged into higher frequencies (especially love) and shining our light as our most authentic selves.

Watch out for empathic grief - you are likely to be connecting to many thoughts and feelings beyond your own. Do lots of clearing and grounding.

And here are some what to do now links you might find helpful...

10 Ways to Be Prepared & Grounded, Waging Nonviolence
What Will You Do if Trump Wins?

Will up date this page with more links as I find them.
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Connect to your boundless love for humanity, and know that that will ripple outward, as does your healing emanate without your even trying.

But avoid connecting to the world's grief because that will overwhelm you and lead to burnout. Ask "is this feeling mine?"
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Expecting to Be Harmed by White Supremacy?

Dehumanization and adultification are the fuels of white supremacy. And by not acknowledging our emotions, by not acknowledging our feelings, we’re dehumanizing ourselves in the ways that others do. I encourage us not to do that. Resting is an act of strength, and it’s necessary for you to preserve yourself for the journey ahead, because it is very much a journey. - Raquel Martin, PhD, whose work focuses on black mental health.​

I strongly encourage you to read the article I quoted from above if you are African American, but also if you belong to another minority threatened by the election results, and seek out other articles. I will add more links here, when I find them. But to summarize the article, which is a Q&A interview with Dr. Martin, she suggests protecting your mental health at all costs, seeking support within your community and prioritizing rest.

While we're talking about rest, here's a recommendation - read Rest is Resistance, by Tricia Hersey, and/or get The Rest Deck, by the same author. You can get it as a deck of 50 cards, or read it on your Kindle. 

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hardcover photo from minnagoods.com

I am the trickster
The one who got away
The one who always knew
The one able to transmute grief to rest
-Tricia Hershey, We Will Rest

Brief Guided Grounding Meditation

​Imagine that you are an old, majestic oak tree, deeply rooted in the earth. You’ve seen and experienced everything, but you are still standing.

Each of your roots extends far and wide, grounding you and making you feel safe and secure. Take a deep breath in and allow yourself to connect with the loving energy that flows beneath and around you.

As a tree filled with the wisdom of a long life, you know that you are safely rooted in and tended to with love. Feel the earth’s gentle heartbeat, a reminder of the constant support that surrounds you.
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Take another deep breath, and gently release any tension or negative feelings, letting them drift away like they are your own leaves, being carried by the wind.

Now, imagine that a warm, golden light is glowing at the base of your spine. Can you feel it?

With each new breath, imagine this light expanding downward, reaching through the soles of your feet, anchoring you to the energy of the earth. Let this energy fill your whole body with strength and warmth and love and protection.

Just like an old oak tree, you may be facing challenges that seem insurmountable, but you are cherished and protected by the divine.

Think about your connection to everything around you—the wind that whispers its secrets, the sunlight that warms you, the soil that supports each step you take and the created universe that nurtures everything you imagined. Know that you are never alone.

Return for a moment to being the tree, strong, stalwart and grounded. Then when you are ready, gradually bring your awareness back to the present moment, listening for the sounds of the room you’re in, feeling your back against whatever is supporting you.

As you return to full presence, place your hand over your heart, giving yourself love and storing all of those other positive feelings in your heart space, ready to be retrieved whenever you need another moment to center yourself again.

Surviving election stress as a member of a marginalized community involves self-awareness, community support, and proactive strategies. By recognizing your feelings, setting limits on negative influences, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate this tumultuous time with resilience. Remember, your voice matters, and you are not alone. Together, we can uplift one another and work toward a brighter future. - BPOQe.org

Love to you!

Jeanine
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