I Quit! And Maybe You Should, too

I did an intuitive reading during the Lion's Gate Portal and was hit with unexpected guidance that, for now, changes everything. And in a recent newsletter, from Dre Beltami (a cool brand archetype expert), we were challenged to show our underbellies and tell the truth in our blogs or on social media, in a way that defies the typical advice we receive as online entrepreneurs. 

I've decided to take that challenge, and share exactly what's happening. So keep reading...
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Your light and your truth were always there and you may not feel it now but you are stepping into a far higher version of you than what you ever dreamed possible. - Kerry K.

Stop Right There!

I've been feeling a little aimless. Directionless. 

And even when I thought I had moments of clarity, and got excited about an idea, within days, I was feeling unsure again. 

So I decided to do an intuitive reading. I hoped that the Lion's Gate Portal energy would provide me with the clarity I needed.

Well, the message of one of the cards I pulled was certainly clear! 

It said that I was going in the wrong direction and needed to stop what I was doing, and basically, catch up to myself. The advice was to get clear on who I am now and who I am becoming before proceeding.

And I understood that the next steps would turn out to be different than I expected.
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So I do not yet know what is next. But now, I know that I am meant to wait for wisdom and clarity. 
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Truth: I Really Don't Know
​What the Hell I'm Doing

I am all over the place! I have SO many ideas.

So many ways I want to help. And they all fall under the heading of empowering healers and lightworkers.

Because I have a chronic illness, the plan I have been following is to create and sell digital products. And I now have A LOT of digital products to offer.

But I'm not exactly selling them. And you don't know what they are. Because I keep changing my mind and moving on to the next thing.

So I decided to take a walk through the last 8 months of Canva to see what I've created...

a 30-Day Inner Goddess Planner
an Inner Goddess Journal & Affirmations
a Guided Inner Goddess Meditations
​an Inner Goddess Ritual Checklists Workbook
​a Mindful Morning Ritual Planner
The Sacred Self eBook
a Manifestation Planner
a Manifestation Journal
Manifesting Happiness Affirmation Cards
The Self-Compassion Workbook
The Self-Love Quiz & eBook
Guided Self-Love Meditations
a Shadow Self Mini Course
a 30-Day Shadow Self Journal
a 7 Days of Cozy Rituals Mini Course
New Moon Journal: Become Your Divine Self
​a New Moon Affirmation Card Deck
 aLetting Go with the Full Moon Card Deck
The Self-Soothing Journal
The 7-Day Hygge Self-Care Ritual Challenge
The Hygge Morning Ritual eBook
The Slow Living eBook
a Divine Self Archetype Quiz
The Mindful Healer (Bundle of eBooks & journals)
a Mindful Morning Affirmations Card Deck
The Teapot Journal & Card Deck
an Ocean Mindfulness Coloring Book

If I counted correctly, I created 27 digital products this year, right? I had no idea I had that many sitting in my Canva account.

Now, most of these began their lives as templates or done-for-you products. And that's what made it so much easier to create them!

I'd switch out the colors and either rewrite them on the spot or in a document and transfer it afterward. In some ways, it felt like my way of creating art.

But I also felt like I was creating the possibility of transformation with each one.

It makes me wonder if I should create some kind of online store. It felt kind of exciting to look through them & find so many, as I wrote this post.

Truth: Traditional Marketing Advice Hasn't Helped as Much as I Thought it Would

Maybe part of the wrong direction, from the reading, was trying to choose only a few products to focus on?

They tell you to niche and create a funnel. And many suggest creating your funnel around a freebie and then, an online course, with a sort of high-end program as a final step, that makes you tons of money because it costs so much.

But maybe that's not the way I am meant to do it?
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Truth: I've Been Neglecting
​My Own Spiritual Self-Care

It's been quite a while since I did a spiritual self-care ritual.

I am still coming to terms with what happens now when I meditate - I come face to face with myself - so lately, I haven't been doing it every day and when I do, it's not always for very long.

On the other hand, I do prioritize grounding moments throughout the day and I do connect with my inner self. But the gap between what I do and what I think I should be doing each day (which is also what I espouse) is bigger than I want to admit.

I do make myself sit still, be present and allow whatever I'm thinking and feeling to surface. But I think I should do that every day and for quite a bit longer than 5 or 10 minutes.
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Truth: It's not Just the Negative Moments I Avoid

The other day I led my roommate in a very quick, on-the-spot portal meditation and we both felt it rather powerfully. I felt electric for a good while after that.

And that made me nervous.

I think I avoid my power and intuition, too, not just the negative thoughts and feelings. So that's probably another way I am going in the wrong direction.

So one good thing that might come from stopping the merry-go-round is more time and energy for spiritual self-care. Hearing my own wisdom might get easier, too?

If it does, I'll let you know, because my intention is to keep writing about how things are going.​

Truth: Sometimes, this is What
Meditating & Healing are Like

The truth is that there are times when you cannot  create an only-positive ritual experience, even when you make it cozy...

Picture this: you've just had a delicious cup of tea, or most of it, and you feel warm and cozy. You do a grounding exercise and you love how centered it makes you feel.

But then, a feeling of discomfort reminds you that you need to stop putting so much creamer in your tea, no matter how good it tastes because the dairy is not your closest friend. Thinking about makes you feel sad and a little defeated.

So you soldier on to the meditation and healing, rearranging your throw before you begin, so it covers you better. And you're meditating.

Trying to connect with your divine self... you start by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. The rest of the world begins to drift away and you feel yourself connecting.

But five minutes later, you realize you've lost it completely and are mentally composing your next blog post. How and when did that happen?

You go back to your breathing and you reconnect. But then feelings surface about an issue you know needs to heal.

You offer it to your light and your divinity, and you grab your danburite, a crystal that soothes as it helps with letting go.

But on this day, the anger or the sadness aren't going anywhere, anytime soon. You give yourself love and acceptance, and then sit with your feelings for a while.

But then you get tired of it. You don't like feeling that way.

So you look at the clock, start thinking of the things you need to do, and decide to try again tomorrow.

                     ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Note: guided meditations are likely to have fewer unpleasant interruptions. And you also can guide your experiences to some extent by adding influences.

Your roll-on fairy blend of sweet orange and vanilla, that deepens both joy and relaxation. The ocean wave sounds that engender peace.

​Your obsidian crystal that dissolves negativity. The yummy-smelling candle that delights you every time you get a whiff of it.

But the truth is, that experience described above is actually a good one, because you're connecting to your truth. I've been told that the goal is a kind of sacred neutrality that accepts every experience without judgment.

I do not have that ability at this time. :)

And here's the deep truth - I don't want it, even though I think I might oughta have it. (Picture the upside down emoji here).
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What Do You Think?

As you've taken this journey into truth with me, what thoughts have you had about yourself? Think about what resonated with you.

​Did you see any stop or warning signs? For example, the awareness that you've been growing and healing so much and so rapidly, that you might need a break so you can catch up with yourself?

And do you have any hidden truths you'd like to share with the class? ;)

See you next time!

love, Jeanine
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